You will more than likely see a few insights from this lovely mom on our site. She is strong, selfless, and my bestie. Veronica Campbell of Boudoir by Veronica is a dynamic photographer, Blogger, and Mom. Visit http://boudoirbyveronica.com/ for more on her work.
She is also one of the first moms to be inducted in the Industry Moms Club. She recently had her 3rd little one, Max. She noticed she felt a little different and was brave enough to share her story with the world. A story that we all too often rarely hear about but know at least one person who has experienced the silent, PostPartum and Postpartum Anxiety. Please share a comment and know that you are not alone we are a team of Moms supporting one another. Never feel ashamed and never feel less than. Thank you, Veronica, for allowing us to share in your post to help other moms.
*HELLA LONG POST ALERT*
I was going to share this for mental health month (May) but I punked out. Even now, I’m scared shitless but I want other people to know they are not alone and people do care.
I’ve been struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety. I was admitted to the hospital at the end of February because my anxiety (which I didn’t recognize at the time) had gotten to me so bad I was having heart attack-like symptoms.
Afterward, there was a stretch of time where I found myself on a cycle of being in a panic over small things and then feeling overwhelmingly despondent and back again. I didn’t want to do anything or be around anyone but I had commitments I’d made, shoots I’d booked and I had no choice but to follow through. Even pretending to be ok took its toll and after the majority of my scheduled shoots were completed, I stopped taking on more.
When my husband would share with people that I wasn’t doing well, I would be so angry wishing he didn’t tell anyone. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I felt he was announcing to the world that I wasn’t handling my role as wife/mom/student/businesswoman with grace. I felt he was telling everyone in so many words that I was a weak person that couldn’t handle their responsibilities.
The turning point was a morning in March where I already wasn’t feeling my best and a few things didn’t go the way they should have and I lost it. I was supposed to be running errands and grocery shopping but I pulled up in the store parking lot and laid my head down on the steering wheel for what seemed like forever. After a while, I didn’t even go in. I started the car, went home and cried.
With the amazing support of my husband and family, I decided to start seeing a therapist. Although things have gotten better than they were, I’m not all the way back to feeling like *ME*.
PPD and anxiety caused me to lose precious time enjoying my baby. It caused me to lose time doing things I love. But it also made me realize it’s ok to say that I’m not ok. And just because I say that I’m not doesn’t mean that I won’t be ever again. #theimperfectwoman #imperfectboss#PPDmoms #postpartumdepressionisreal